Learning from disappointment

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*Sigh*

These past few months and weeks have been hectic. With two trips to London, for Warner bros studio tour and Britmums, preparation for craft fairs and relaunching of Elliebearbabi crafts as Mini & Muddles next month, completing handmade wedding invites for my bestie, taking on a freelance writing project of 75,000 words yes 75,000 and a family bereavement last week. I am well and truly worn out.

I had’nt intended to stretch myself so thinly these past months, it just seemed to happen. I underestimated the enormity of the freelance job which I took on, it over took my evenings late into each night. I have had little sleep, the house was slowly starting to resemble a skip and the washing basket had over spilled onto the floor. Hubby and I have been like passing ships, the most time I have spent with him was the couple days we spent with family for the funeral and wake of his gran last week.  Every time Mini napped or played I was writing like a crazy lady. All this extra pressure I had taken on myself ended with me having a headache each day for a the last week as well as bloodshot eyes and other lovely stress related symptoms. It had to give I knew it did, when I reached out querying the possibility of extra help on the project, I wasn’t given it, but pulled off  the project all together, much to my surprise and disappointment. Surprise because I didn’t say I didn’t want to do it just I may need extra help or the deadline extended. Disappointment that the work had ended and the person I was working for seemed to feel i’d let them down and disappointed with myself that I wasn’t able to complete the job.

After a phone call to hubby in which I sobbed like a child, I feel much better. Hubby reminded me i’d been working flat out, if the work had ended it had ended. We always say everything happens for a reason, a greater plan at work and this is just one of those times. I have learned so much from this, I have learned that I do not want to work for someone else ever again. I love my crafting, I love being my own boss, working to my strengths and to my time frames. I have learned that I do not want to take on anything that impacts upon our family life. I am utterly contented and proud to be a sahm day to day. I adore blogging and writing but never want it to be more than an enjoyable hobby.

I have also learned not to stress as much, as soon as the job was pulled I started to stress i’d let the person down, stress that they may bad mouth me to others, when I didn’t intentionally let them down, infact they pulled the job from me so if they hadn’t i’d still be working on it and would have completed it. I need to just focus on the happy and positives in life. Really enjoy every moment and not take on too much.

So here’s to a stress free and contented rest of the summer … after I clean this house ;)

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